Even our most irritating habits are giving us something good.
Have you ever found yourself doing something repeatedly that you know isn’t serving you? It’s frustrating.
And sometimes, it feels like no matter what we do, it doesn’t change, which piles on the frustration. And then if we continue doing it, we get annoyed, angry, and downright ticked with ourselves—that’s where I was last week.
There’s a pattern in my life that I’ve been replaying over and over and over again. Finally, I hit the point of being fucking sick with myself for tolerating it.
So over the past week, I started diving into it, getting brutally honest with myself about why I’m continuing to create this when it’s irritating as shit.
Because I’ve been around the personal development block a few times, and I’ve shifted my life in dramatic ways in other areas, I knew that while this pattern is annoying as fuck that I’m also GAINING something from it.
We, human beings, never—and I mean NEVER—do something that isn’t giving us a benefit in some way, shape, or form.
Even our most irritating, annoying, frustrating, “self-sabotaging” habits give us something our mind perceives as beneficial.
So, if our self-sabotaging habits are simultaneously stopping us from experiencing something we desire AND giving us something we want—what do we do about it?
The first thing we need to do is stop beating ourselves up for the self-sabotaging pattern.
If you’re punishing yourself, how do you ever expect to feel good? You can’t. So stop the self-punishment.
We need to forgive ourselves for doing the thing that we’re annoyed with and for punishing ourselves for doing it.
Forgiveness is powerful.
It allows us to emotionally and energetically let go of the past, which is essential if you want to create a different future.
So, you’ve stopped engaging in the thing. This usually isn’t a one-time deal, but rather a commitment that we honor by noticing any time we’re about to slide into the old pattern and consciously choosing to stop and redirect our focus.
And you’ve forgiven yourself.
Now, you need to identify what you’re gaining from the self-sabotaging behavior.
What are you afraid you’ll lose if you get what you want?
What bad thing do you fear will happen if you get what you want?
What’s the payoff of engaging in the sabotaging pattern and not getting your desire?
There IS something there.
There is always a reason for our sabotaging habits.
When you find the reason, then you are free to make a new choice.
You can continue to engage in the old pattern, or you can find a new way to give yourself the benefit the pattern produced.
The choice is yours.
You can choose differently anytime you desire.
The power to choose is yours, and it’s always there.
Remember, you absolutely can Love Your Life and Live Your Dreams. It all begins within.